brian heiser 2008
i've always lacked focus.
and motivation has never been my best friend.
i always liked school because it set my deadlines for me.
and while i always procrastinated, i still met them.
i don't know how to set my own deadlines.
but i'm trying.
i'm trying to make the most of my time.
instead of getting stoned and watching online tv, i look for new music.
i make playlists.
and i upload them here.
there's no deadlines but other people depend on me.
so it helps.
i know i'm meant to do more than this.
more than waking up.
more than showering.
more than paying the bus fare.
more than pulling espresso shots and steaming skim milk for lincoln park trixies.
more than feeling bad about myself.
i'm looking ahead.
i'm looking towards something.
i'm looking up.
no more hanging my head just because i'm too lazy to lift it two inches.
two inches isn't much.
it's the length of my two thumbs.
and i think i can do this.
i think i can stop sleeping in.
i think i can stop eating out.
i think i can start showering.
i think i can get over things.
i think i can be okay when those things creep back in.
i think i can stop being so hard on myself and remember.
remember i am only me.
remember i am a spot on this planet.
remember i am meant for more.
winter is here.
but depression can take a back seat.
i got shit to do.
and motivation has never been my best friend.
i always liked school because it set my deadlines for me.
and while i always procrastinated, i still met them.
i don't know how to set my own deadlines.
but i'm trying.
i'm trying to make the most of my time.
instead of getting stoned and watching online tv, i look for new music.
i make playlists.
and i upload them here.
there's no deadlines but other people depend on me.
so it helps.
i know i'm meant to do more than this.
more than waking up.
more than showering.
more than paying the bus fare.
more than pulling espresso shots and steaming skim milk for lincoln park trixies.
more than feeling bad about myself.
i'm looking ahead.
i'm looking towards something.
i'm looking up.
no more hanging my head just because i'm too lazy to lift it two inches.
two inches isn't much.
it's the length of my two thumbs.
and i think i can do this.
i think i can stop sleeping in.
i think i can stop eating out.
i think i can start showering.
i think i can get over things.
i think i can be okay when those things creep back in.
i think i can stop being so hard on myself and remember.
remember i am only me.
remember i am a spot on this planet.
remember i am meant for more.
winter is here.
but depression can take a back seat.
i got shit to do.
2 comments:
hurray! this made me cry tears of happiness.
tif! those pictures are so incredible! get one printed to use as a headshot---i'm not kidding.
p.s. you never know when you might need a headshot. they're not just for acting anymore. besides, you don't want to spend $1000 on them just to end up taking one in the photo booth at Long Room.
p.p.s. i have no idea how the Stanley thermos people found me. some woman from CST found me, too, to comment on a new program that allows people under 35 discounted tickets. behold the power of google.
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